Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
