Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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