she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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