I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
