PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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