i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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