college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
