I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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