Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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