She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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