I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize