When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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