Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Randomize