I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
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Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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