My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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