the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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