There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Boobs speak an international language.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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