Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
