Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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