Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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