Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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