Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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