Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
