No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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