i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize