I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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