just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
