you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
