You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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