I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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