that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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