are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
