Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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