I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
