Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
