And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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