ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
birth control should be required to get into college
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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