i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
