The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
