it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The dick lei will go down in squad history
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
