In America we eat man semen.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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