The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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