i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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