I feel like abortions should bother me more
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
