There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
