Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
