WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
