im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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