Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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