ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
