is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
