Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dear god my vagina.
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