sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
