this beer tastes like vomit already
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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