i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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