I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Congratulations! We have a period
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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