Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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