Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
