honey bunches of taint.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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