Heybabeimwearingurpanties
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When did angry sex become our thing?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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