I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
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Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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