Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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